As usual, since it’s summertime, I’ve been reflecting on past memories, thoughts, and dreams. It’s humbling (and embarrassing) to remember my perspective while in junior high and high school. True, it was normal and basically reasonable for a teenage girl, but, as usual, my view was warped through my own crooked lenses.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who

• Was certain at times that my parents didn’t understand me, didn’t want to, and were doing their best to shove their dreams on me instead.
• Decided I must be un-dateable, considering no legal and appealing guy would even consider asking me out.
• Sometimes wondered if I had an internal “awkward” switch that I automatically clicked on whenever the I needed the exactly the opposite.
• Considered some of my teachers to be a few of my most important friends, and secretly wondered if that meant something was wrong with me.
• Thought I was much more mature than others were at my age.

The list continues, but the funny thing is that even then, I knew that this was only the beginning, part one of the book of my life. All these worries and quandries would pale in comparison to what I’d encounter later down the path.

That acceptance was both liberating and daunting, especially since I had no idea what those future struggles would be. At the same time, it was exciting to know that what I’d currently spilled tears over would prepare me for much greater things in the years to come. If I could handle that, then I’d be one step closer to better realizing who I could be.

At times growing up is painful. You just want to get it over with and get to where you should be. It’d be much easier if you could eliminate the bullies, friend issues, heartaches and tears, but (as sappy as it may be) that makes you who YOU are. Your choices in handling these struggles determine who you’ll be once you’re “where you should be.” You can’t possibly make it there without those parts of growing up.

Unfortunately (and fortunately), I know I’m not done growing up and will continue until I die. Though a little frustrating, I’m thrilled to know that I’m not going to be stunted at my current self. There’s so much to learn, understand, and do. It’d be dreadful for me, others and God if I stopped stretching for a greater personhood.

On a final note, I’m thankful to have realized that many of my thoughts in junior high and high school were proven false. I still flip on the awkward switch much more often than I want to, but… otherwise, life is good. My eyes are opening to see others’ perspectives and to see the things that matter most.